The Adventures of Mukuro and Friends
by clothespins
Summary: An idiotic roleplay in which Hibari has a tricycle, Mukuro is lusted after by Byakuran, and Tsuna stands in the middle of traffic. Implied XS, 10069, and d18. AU. Co-authored by bubble-teaa@dA.


One beautiful, happy-making day, the sun was shining brightly behind dark grey/green clouds that just screamed to everyone: today is a great day (for some rain/tornadoes)! Mukuro was just minding his own business, walking around in his pink frilly dress, shopping for more pink frilly clothes. The usual. Then Byakuran came along!

"MUKURO-CHAN~" Byakuran called out.

He had some creepy smile on his face, as he ran after the pineapple-headed boy with the pink frilly dress. The pineapple head kept running; he was scared of this pedophile-like dude with white hair.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY YOU OLD PEDO WITH WHITE HAIR!" Mukuro called back.

Byakuran was hurt. No one had ever called him a pedo.

At least, not until now.

"I'M NO PEDO, SWEETIE!" he called back, sobbing.

Pineapple head kept running, and Byakuran tried to chase after him.

Then Byakuran got tired because he had eaten too many marshmallows and came to a halt. He stood there in the middle of a flower path, as Mukuro continued running. Then a pink unicorn happened to be floating by; it had to be floating since it was just walking above the ground without any wings, since that was perfectly logical. The cute little unicorn saw a nice white oval ahead and headed straight for it. This little white oval happened to be Byakuran's ass.

"OWW MY ASS!" Byakuran yelled.

"My white pants... they're ruined." Byakuran started weeping; he wanted everything to be perfect for his Mukuro-chan.

The head resembling a pineapple and pink frilly dress were gradually fading into the horizon. Byakuran had to take action!

Hibari Kyoya was having fun on a swing nearby. He had his tricycle, The Hibahog, parked neatly a few feet away, near where Byakuran was standing. The Hibahog had a nice pink basket with pink frilly tassels on the handlebars. In the fluffy pink basket, there were pink flowers and a dumb-looking brown hedgehog.

"What an adorable tricycle!" Byakuran yelled to the world, as he rode off with it.

Hibird started flying around the black haired delinquent because he was having too much fun on the swings to notice that his Hibahog was gone!

"What is it, Hibird?" Hibari asked the small yellow fluff ball.

Hibird flew off towards the flower patch where the Hibahog had been parked. After realizing what the bird was trying to tell him, Hibari yelled out, "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY HIBAHOG I WILL BITE THAT BITCH TO DEATH!"

Hibird flew off towards the direction Byakuran was peddling in, since Hibari was a bit cross-eyed and couldn't see very well. Hibari sped off towards Byakuran and his beloved Hibahog.

"That piece of fudge is getting his germs on my bike! I am going to bite him to death when I catch up to him!" Hibari told the world.

He continued running after Byakuran who was running after Mukuro.

"MUKURO-CHAN!~" Byakuran yelled out.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY YOU OLD WHITE HAIRED HOMO! I VERY STRONGLY DISLIKE YOU OKAY." Mukuro yelled back.

The strap of his pink frilly dress was sliding off, and this got Byakuran excited.

"MUKURO-CHAN YOUR SHOULDER IS PRETTY DID YOU KNOW THAT?" Byakuran called out, disregarding Mukuro's offensive words. The pineapple head blushed; no one had ever told him this before.

Byakuran peddled faster and faster, he wanted to get the cute little boy in his arms. Even if it was unwilling. He peddled as fast as he could.

Just then, a kid with unnaturally spiky brown hair who happened to be Tsunayoshi was crossing the street. No Good Tsuna had never been taught how to properly cross a street since he is no good and did not look both ways. This had caused street accidents before, since cars had to stop so they wouldn't hit him. Well, sometimes they did hit him but he never had any severe injuries. The only time he had been admitted into Namimori Hospital recently was when an unidentified green, spiky object had fallen on him in an unspecified area.

Byakuran saw the kid with unnaturally spiky hair, but it was too late to stop since he didn't have enough time to find the probably nonexistent brakes.

The two collided in the middle of the street, and a wheel fell off of the Hibahog.

"My head hurts," Tsuna said, frowning.

Mukuro was still running, and Byakuran had to catch him. Byakuran kicked Tsuna out of the way, and made a dash towards the pineapple head.

"Tsuna. Go after him with your dying will," Reborn said, as he popped out of a bush with some weird white costume with a long tail, ready to shoot the Dying Will Bullet.

"Reborn! When did you-" Tsuna was cut off, he was hit with the bullet.

"REBORN!" Tsuna yelled.

His clothes had come off, and he was running like some maniac down the street.

Hibari finally caught up to find his Hibahog lying in the middle of the street. A wheel was gone, and the pink frilly things on the handles had been ripped off. "I AM GOING TO BITE THOSE ASSWIPES TO DEATH!" the black haired delinquent yelled.

He ran after the spiky haired kid and the pedophile. Then Mukuro got tired and sat down and Byakuran caught up.

"MUKURO-CHAN! YOU'RE COMING WITH ME!" Byakuran said, with a pedo-like grin.

Mukuro was frightened! Byakuran dragged Mukuro to this really high tower in the middle of nowhere. Byakuran hit the up button on the elevator, and a few moments later the doors slid open. He pulled Mukuro in, and prepared for the three-hour wait by hitting a weird purple button. A panel opened to their right, and several emergency xtra-large bag of marshmallows popped out. Byakuran sat down on the floor (pulling Mukuro with him) and made himself comfortable beside Mukuro (who was weeping).

* * *

Meanwhile, Hibari was beating No Good Tsuna up because he was the only living thing there, and he had to murder something to compensate for the destruction of his beloved Hibahog.

But then, he realized that his hedgehog (also named Hibahog) was missing (along with the pink flowers that were in the pink basket of his Hibahog)! He paused in beating up Tsuna, poised to swiftly pull out his Hibahandcuffs and handcuff the poor boy.

The angry delinquent looked around, throwing Tsuna to the ground. He went over to his Hibahog and looked in the basket, finding nothing. The area around his Hibahog was relatively clean too (except for the gruesome severed limbs of the Hibahog). Hibari pulled out his Handy-Dandy-Hibakit, pulling a spare wheel out of it and magically attaching it to the Hibahog.

"GODDAMN I WILL KILL THAT WHITE-HAIRED TRICYCLE KILLER ONCE I FIND MY HEDGEHOG," Hibari yelled to no one in particular. It was just then that rain started pouring down.

"VOOOOOIIIIIII," a mysterious voice whose owner was very, very hard to place screamed.

A blue glowing shark appeared out of nowhere, a shivering, brown, very mentally ill hedgehog in it's teeth.

"WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO BE THROWING YOUR GODDAMN SPIKY GUINEA PIGS AROUND? THIS THING ALMOST CUT OFF MY LUSCIOUS HAIR THAT I TAKE HOURS TO CARE FOR EVERY DAY!"

Hibari had absolutely no idea who was yelling at him. It could have been anyone.

But then, a long-haired man (?) in a pink frilly loli-style dress and black high-heeled boots (accessorized by a pink heart-shaped purse and heart hairpins and scrunchie holding up his sparkly silver hair) appeared magically (because long hair gives men teleporting powers). He appeared to be the source of the screaming.

"HIBAHOG! I WILL BITE YOU TO DEATH YOU RODENT. I WAS LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU AND I WAS NEAR SOBBING BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU GOT KIDNAPPED BY THAT WHITE-HAIRED HOMO," Hibari yelled at his animal, disregarding the beautiful man/woman.

He took his hedgehog back and put it right back in the basket of his tricycle, which had amazingly recovered.

"NOW. YOU...RAPUNZEL GUY." Hibari pointed his Hibahandcuffs at the shark.

Squalo (for Hibari had mind reading powers and now knew the cross dresser's name) scowled more than usual at this name, and shoved his shark back into its box. Hibari spoke.

"KAMIKOROSU, CROSSDRESSER-CHAN DESU NE KAWAII."

The shark frowned. "JESUS PISS I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU'RE FUCKING SAYING, I'M GOD DAMN ITALIAN. JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. I NEED TO FIND MY GODDAMN LOV-I MEAN BOSS! HE ASKED FOR FUCKING MEAT AND HE GETS ANGRY WHEN HE DOESN'T GET HIS MEAT." S/he skipped away, reminding himself _exactly_ what kind of meat his boss wanted, because his boss beat him up when it wasn't perfect or something.

That left Hibari and both his Hibahogs to find that retard that stole his trike in the first place. He squeezed himself into the Hibahog, and cycled away in the general direction of where he thought those faggots went.

He eventually found the tower, and called his retarded boyfriend Dino to get his flaming homohorse up here so it could fly him to the top floor. Dino got there with some difficulty, and loaned Hibari his homohorse to get to the top. Hibari did so, and waited for Mukuro and the white-haired homo to get there.

When they did, Mukuro was sobbing hysterically and half-dressed, and Byakuran had about 847584 empty xtra-large marshmallow bags lying around him.

"WHITE-HAIRED PEDO! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!"

Purple eyes looked up and Byakuran shrugged. "Sure whatever. I was just about to have some fun with my DARLING here, the more the merrier." He smiled like only a homo could, and prepared himself (as Basil would say, "PREPARATION, COMPLETE!").

Hibari lost, and mourned the death of both his Hibahogs.

Then the shark showed up and had a brief conversation with Mukuro about their favourite brands of frilly pink clothing, then he successfully got his left arm cut off and lost. A few minutes later, after playing a quick game of Candyland with Mukuro and Hibari, Xanxus showed up. He was very angry.

Apparently he didn't get the meat he wanted. He was about to scream some profanities at that darned white-haired pedo about beating up his lov-uhh right hand man. Then Hibari noticed he had Hibahair.

Before conversing about the types of hair-care they used, Xanxus shot Byakuran with his stupidly big guns and his stupid big flames. He and Hibari talked about their hair, got Squalo a new arm, and left Mukuro, Dino's homohorse, and Hibari's hedgehog to their own devices. Then they all lived happily ever after in the really high tower in the middle of nowhere (cause they couldn't get down).

* * *

**Review and tell us what you thought. Flames and constructive critique are a-okay (though, if you do flame, keep in mind we will probably laugh rather than be offended).**


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